Attending the Man Alive Retreat was an inflection point in my spiritual maturation that came as an unexpected but much needed gift from the Lord. Although I have been a committed life-long Catholic, I had reached a state of spiritual stagnation in my prayer life and deep-seated malaise that I had tried to falsely convince myself was not a big deal. I attempt to self-medicate with various hobbies, material comforts, and vices that habituated me to what I later learned on the retreat was a state of acedia. In reflection I came to grips with the reality that succumbing to acedia not only harmed my own well being, but had likewise harmed those I held most dear: my wife and children. Throughout the years, I had grown distant from the Father and allowed the slow slide into apathy to become the norm. I felt spiritually alone and falsely convinced myself that indeed I was. 

However, after an invitation from some friends who are good Catholic men, I accepted an invitation to attend the Man Alive Retreat. I didn’t know much about it or what to expect, but I trusted and looked up to the guys who were organizing it. I saw in their example the kind of Catholic man, husband, and father I wanted to be. So I swallowed my pride and trepidation and registered. 

During the retreat, I was greatly moved by the testimonies of the other men who essentially demonstrated to me that my struggle with acedia was not unique to me and that others had come through on the other side. It was a glimmer of hope and I internally chose to take the leap for the sake of my family and my own spiritual life and took the retreat’s lessons, conversations, prayer time, manual labor, and fraternal fellowship seriously. Slowly I felt that, through my experience of brotherhood, prayer, the Sacraments, and labor, I was receiving a template for how to be going forward. I later found out that these were the building blocks of a Rule of Life. 

After the retreat, I committed myself to the Rule of Life I prayerfully considered and planned during the retreat. It started simply: daily Morning and Evening prayer from the Divine Office, the Rosary, and being present to my wife and children in a more intentional way. I committed to my Rule of Life knowing other men from the retreat were doing the same. Slowly, my commitment to my Rule of Life began to show real fruit in my spiritual life and in my family life. Disordered attachments and vices that I had struggled with for a long time took less of a hold on me, and thanks to the help of some key brothers from the retreat, I was able to overcome them and receive healing. 

My prayer life deepened slowly and steadily until it came to a point where daily Morning and Evening prayer have now become not just incidental practices but daily necessities for me that I look forward to. In committing to these small things, the intimacy and time spent I have with my wife and children have increased in ways I was not expecting but am truly grateful to God for providing as a gift. I have by no means reached an ultimate goal in my spiritual and family life but have entered into a new season of deeper fruitfulness that I had not thought possible.

So for any men that are currently struggling with acedia and all that it entails, I highly encourage you to attend a future Man Alive Retreat. It was a unique and effective retreat for me in that it was straightforward, demonstrated how to practically apply a Rule of Life, and was rooted in authentic fraternity. 

-Io M.